just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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