Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This baby is an asshole
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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