moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
