when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she smelled like a LAN party
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
