Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
