You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
