I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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