what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
