dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
