It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
