who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
