I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
