I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
