my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
