I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
