is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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