i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
