There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
