That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
