How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
