Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
