4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize