Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
