News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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