This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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