He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
