You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
