New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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