My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why do cheetos always look like penises
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
