Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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