hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
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