so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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