he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
