Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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