Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
