if only i could text you this smell
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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