Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
