Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
