Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
