I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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