worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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