Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
