Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I party with great urgency now.
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