We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize