She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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