Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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