you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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