I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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