Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
