Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
