he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
