Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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