I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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