i just google imaged poop.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
