so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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