hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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