hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
