i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The feeling are messing with the penis
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
