OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
